Priya Tait and the 2020 Ithaca semester crew captured the magic of an NWOBS course in their collaboratively written poem, “Have You Ever.”
Have you ever looked our dreams in the eye, reached out to take them, but then felt them drip through your hands like sand
Have you ever hiked up a mountain with casual friends, but scrambled down that same mountain with family
Have you ever lifted your voice to the moon with the coyotes celebrating a day and trek that you thought would never end
Have you ever had the courage to be fully yourself in a place that you feared you couldn’t
Have you ever felt a deep joy bubble up from your soul, like the stream that helped that joy burst
Have you ever been thankful for special times, and the ability to be present in those moments
Have you ever sat in your own filth with nothing to your name but the bare minimum and thought ‘this is the life’
Have you ever knocked down walls that were built to be steadfast
Have you ever found yourself in a place where you were stripped to the bone and left to your wolves
Have you ever been in a world where all there is is what you can see and feel
Have you ever cried because you had trouble packing a backpack
Have you ever spent 72 hours completely alone with nothing but you and the earth in front of you
Have you ever had an unexpected allergic reaction and puked in the middle of the desert.
Have you ever felt so comfortable crying in front of a group of people
Have you ever formed a family with a group of strangers within a month
Have you ever laughed so hard just from someone trying to zip up your sleeping bag
Have you ever felt alone and not been afraid
Have you ever believed yourself to be the only visitor on a planet we all call home.
Have you ever felt sorrow for the wildlife that you startled, the plants that have bore your weight, the dirt you’ve disturbed
Have you ever been weak when others needed you to be strong
Have you ever not been able to call one place home
Have you ever run up the side of a rocky hill in the dying sunlight just to catch a glimpse of the golden gate to Olympus in the clouds like fire around you
Have you ever run barefoot into the desert to empty the contents of your stomach that already had nothing left
Have you ever danced in the desert rain and seen small purple flowers push up through the cracked earth the next day
Have you ever told O’rion your secrets, because it was dark, and you were lonely, and he was the only familiar face that you could see
Have you ever stood with ghosts on top of a mountain and cried in the arms of someone you considered a stranger only weeks before
Have you ever shared your morning coffee with the coyotes
Have you ever needed a friend with forceps to remove flora from your fingers
Has a plant ever turned back time and connected you to your childhood
Have you ever woken up in a freezing puddle of water, but danced around in the snow like it was Christmas morning anyway.
Have you ever set the desert on the fire with the passion that burns deep in your soul
Have you ever carried 18 liters of water across a never ending conveyor belt of sand, cholla and ocotillo in ninety degree heat for the ones that you love
Have you ever hiked for so long with a pack so heavy that your hips were rubbed raw and bloody
Have you ever put smiles on nine others by cooking quesadillas in the backcountry
Have you ever sat in the center of your own sorrow without shrinking back
Have you ever the hot fire that intend to consume you and did it anyway
Have you ever woken up to the pidder-patter of rain on the tarp above you and the sweet smell of creosote in the air
Have you ever laughed so naturally and frequently with a group of people
Have you ever sat in solitude for so long that you were physically able to feel your soul, and care for it in a way it needed caring for
Have you ever laid in a desert wash below a mountain and felt the peaceful silence course through your mind, body and spirit
Have you ever received such tragic news that your stomach flipped and you were actually able to feel your heart break but then be able to cry with the whole group of people to hug
Have you ever hugged a one thousand, five hundred year old tree, felt the cold pacific water on your feet for the first time, jumped off a sand dune ciff and slept under a vast fur tree in the pitch darkness, all in one day
Have you ever been so loved and cared for by a group of people that you’ve only known for thirty five days, that they feel like family
Have you ever been impaled in the calf by a choya but laughed about it
Have you ever felt a pack so heavy on your back, you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into
Have you ever picked up your life and drove into the unknown
Have you ever picked up a backpack and wondered how you were ever going to be able to walk
Have you ever been pushed to your edge
Have you found solace in a place you never thought you would
Have you ever stood at the base of a mountain and wondered what it looked like from the top
Have you ever had to leave some place, but knew you would make it back
Have you ever found a family in the desert